Perfect Only In Her Imperfections

Here comes the sun...

Today I am finally feeling better. I was dragging for a little while, hoping that the weather would get better and I would be able to see a little bit of sun. It was so yucky out for a while and I was having trouble snapping out of my bad mood.

sun

I can't wait for it to get warm out so I can spend time outside. I want to go down to the water and just sit. I want to wander around the city for hours and not have to come back to defrost.

I think February is the perfect time to come up with a "Summer To-Do List"

Boston Harborwalk

Haymarket

 Boston's Public Garden

Cape Cod Canal

Happy Valentines Day weekend everyone! 

Investment

With my students, I sometimes do priority lists. What do you spend most of your time doing? What tasks are most important to you? This helps them to figure out how to break up their time and hopefully become better at managing their time.

I think it applies to our thinking, too. What do you spend most of your time thinking about?

For me, I want to try to think most about myself. I don't mean that in an egotistical way, but in a "be the change you wish to see in the world" kind of way. I can't change people's behaviors. I can give my opinions if I decide that's appropriate, but I can't change people. I can only decide how I want to react to them.

I try my best to understand why people act the way they do. Why would someone say that? Why do they think that is productive and helping the relationship? This way of thinking helps, somewhat. It is more helpful though to just let it go. Let people say what they want to me. If they need to get things off their chest in order to feel better, great. As long as I know that I am doing what I want to do, what makes me happy, then I am okay.

I know things won't always be perfect and I certainly don't want to hurt people. I also know that sometimes you hurt the people you love without wanting to. I think about the effect that I am having on others, but sometimes I just need to think about what is making me happy.

Substance

Well, I just got that little itch again. The voice that popped into my head and said "I need to write. Right now". But I don't want to sit here and write about nothing. I want to say something worthwhile. Something with substance.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my free time. I know I won't be in Boston forever, so there are some places that I want to make sure to visit more often (or for the first time). There are some things that I want to do at some point in my life.

I started a list back in November in one of my earlier posts. 

1. Run a marathon  I can honestly say that after finishing a half marathon, I don't want to put my body through a full marathon. That's way too far for me! I don't want to give up on running, but I want to change my goals. 
2. Climb a mountain (not a hill...)
3. Play in a fantasy football league (I didn't say I want to win)
4. Spend a worthwhile amount of time abroad
5. Take a road trip across the country
6. Have a yard with a garden
7. Own an apartment or house where I am able to move around the furniture and it actually fits

Okay, Kristen, so, what else do you want to do?

Bake really well and be proud of it
Pay off all of my bills
Be someone's role model
Own a house with a big fireplace
Love someone and not hurt them in the end
Go back to Florence
Volunteer at the Children's Hospital in Boston (or somewhere similar)
Become a Big Sister again (as in the Big Brother/Big Sister program...no my mom is not having any more kids!)
Move far away
...and then move home again
Have someone I love teach me something new
Teach something new to someone I love
Throw a party for my parents
Finish my master's degree
Inspire a student to stay in school
Be able to host Christmas at my own house some day
Find a "favorite" book
Take a cooking class
Sleep outside in the summer



Of course, there are others that I want to add. I don't think a list like this can ever be concrete. What's the fun in that?

A Weekend Adventure

When you're little, vacation is such a big word. Yes I know there only 8 letters, but I mean big in the sense that it holds a lot of value. It might mean a few days off from school or a trip to somewhere new. You packed your days full of every activity you could think of. I am so glad I got to experience that.

When I was little, February school vacation meant a ski trip with my parents and sister and two other families. Three girls and four boys, all within four years of each other. We would go skiing, tubing, skating, swimming...

This weekend we all went back to the same resort that we used to visit. There was something different though. This time I wasn't trying to fill my time with activities, I was paying attention to how the snow looked on the trees, the smell of the fire, the sound of everyone laughing and talking. There were some new additions (boyfriends and girlfriends), which mixed things up a little.

At one point I was laying on the couch, while the boys were all out snowmobiling and the girls had just decided to take naps, and I listened to the complete silence in the house. I don't know if I notice silence more now because, with me living on a college campus in the middle of the city, I rarely hear it anymore. No matter, it was wonderful. It snowed a lot of the time we were up there. Not heavy, wet snow, but light, pretty snow. It was really peaceful.

I needed a weekend away with my family. There's been so much going on that it was relaxing just to go somewhere new. I could get my mind off things and just be happy. I could think about what I wanted to think about, not about how to respond to things. I don't know if that makes sense but it was helpful to me.

Be You

Breathe - Ryan Star